How Do I Get Over a Breakup?

How Do I Get Over a Breakup?


How Do I Get Over a Breakup?

Breaking up is tough. Whether it was your decision or not, losing someone you cared about can feel like your world’s been flipped upside down. The good news? You can get through it. It won’t happen overnight, but with time, effort, and a little kindness toward yourself, you’ll find your way back to feeling okay—maybe even better than before. Here’s a simple, human guide to help you heal and move on.


Why Does It Hurt So Much?

Let’s start with the obvious: breakups suck because they’re a loss. You’re not just losing a person—you’re losing routines, inside jokes, plans for the future, and maybe even a piece of who you thought you were with them. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, confused, or even relieved all at once. Your brain’s trying to figure out what happened, and your heart’s just along for the messy ride.

  • It’s not just them, it’s everything: You might miss the little things—like texting them goodnight or knowing they’d laugh at your dumb memes.
  • Your body feels it too: Ever wonder why you’re tired or can’t eat? That’s your emotions hitting you physically. It’s real, and it’s okay.
  • You’re grieving: Even if you wanted the breakup, it’s still a goodbye to something big.

Give yourself permission to feel it. You don’t have to “get over it” right away—nobody’s timing you.


Step 1: Let It Out

Bottling up your feelings is like shaking a soda can—eventually, it’s gonna explode. So, let it out in whatever way feels right to you.

  • Cry if you need to: Tears aren’t a sign of weakness; they’re your body’s way of saying, “Hey, this matters.”
  • Talk to someone: Call a friend, vent to your dog, or even write it down. Just don’t keep it all inside.
  • Scream into a pillow: Sounds dramatic, but it works. No one’s judging.

I remember after my first breakup, I sat in my car and yelled until my voice gave out. Weird? Maybe. Did it help? Absolutely. Find your version of that.


Step 2: Cut the Cord (At Least for Now)

Seeing your ex’s face pop up on your phone or scrolling through their Instagram isn’t doing you any favors. It’s like picking at a scab—you’re stopping yourself from healing.

  • Mute or unfollow: You don’t have to block them forever, but give yourself a break from their updates.
  • Box up the memories: That hoodie they left at your place? Those photos on your wall? Put them somewhere you don’t have to see them every day.
  • No drunk texting: Trust me, 2 a.m. “I miss you” messages never end well.

It’s not about erasing them—it’s about giving your heart some breathing room.


Step 3: Lean on Your People

You don’t have to go through this alone. Your friends, family, or even a random coworker who’s been there can be your lifeline.

  • Say what you need: Want company? A distraction? A hug? Tell them. Most people want to help but don’t know how.
  • Let them lift you up: My best friend dragged me to a terrible rom-com after my breakup. I laughed, I cried, I ate popcorn—it was exactly what I needed.
  • Avoid the “fixers”: Some folks might push you to “move on” too fast. Stick with the ones who just listen.

Surrounding yourself with good people reminds you you’re still lovable, even when you don’t feel it.


Step 4: Take Care of Yourself

When you’re heartbroken, it’s easy to forget the basics. But treating yourself decently can make a huge difference.

  • Eat something: Even if it’s just toast or a handful of cereal. Your body’s still gotta run.
  • Move a little: A walk around the block or some stretching can shake off that heavy feeling.
  • Sleep (or try delve into that: You don’t have to be a gym rat—small wins count.

I once spent a week after a breakup living on chips and Netflix. By day three, I felt worse than ever. Then I took a shower, ate an apple, and suddenly the world didn’t seem so grim. Small stuff adds up.


Step 5: Rediscover You

A breakup can leave you wondering, “Who am I without them?” The answer? Still you—just with a chance to grow.

  • Try something new: Always wanted to paint, hike, or cook? Now’s the time.
  • Reconnect with old loves: Hobbies or passions you dropped—pick them back up.
  • Set tiny goals: Maybe it’s just “get out of bed today.” Celebrate it.

After my last breakup, I started running. At first, I hated it, but then I got hooked on that post-run high. Find your thing—it’s out there.


Step6: Don’t Rush the Healing

There’s no magic timeline. Some days you’ll feel great, others you’ll miss them like crazy. That’s normal.

  • Be patient: Healing’s a squiggly line, not a straight one.
  • Forgive yourself: For the fights, the “what ifs,” all of it. You did your best.
  • Let go of blame: Holding onto anger—at them or you—just keeps you stuck.

One day, you’ll realize you haven’t thought about them in hours. That’s when you know you’re getting there.


Step 7: Look Ahead, Not Back

The end of a relationship isn’t the end of your story. It’s a chapter closing so a new one can start.

  • Learn from it: What worked? What didn’t? You’re wiser now.
  • Dream a little: What do you want next—love, freedom, adventure? It’s yours to chase.
  • Trust yourself: You’ve got the strength to love again when you’re ready.

I used to think I’d never get over my ex. But here I am, writing this, happier than I was with them. You’ll get there too.


A Few Don’ts to Keep in Mind

  • Don’t jump into a rebound: It might feel good now, but it’s a Band-Aid, not a fix.
  • Don’t stalk their life: Their new date? Their job? Not your business anymore.
  • Don’t beat yourself up: You’re not “broken” or “unlovable.” You’re just human.

You’ve Got This

Getting over a breakup isn’t about forgetting them or pretending it didn’t hurt. It’s about finding your footing again, one step at a time. Cry when you need to, laugh when you can, and lean on the people who’ve got your back. You’re not alone in this—millions of us have been there, and we’ve come out stronger.

So take a deep breath. Today might be hard, but tomorrow’s a little easier. And one day, you’ll wake up and realize you’re not just surviving—you’re living again. You’re tougher than you think, and the best parts of your love life? They’re still ahead.

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